Showing all posts tagged Parenting

In Books and Reading, Uncategorized

The Reading Report, Vol. 5: October Edition

Author Kiel LemonPosted on Leave a comment


This month has been apparently not been very good for blogging! I have been busy with other projects, like homeschooling, family fun time, knitting my son a sweater (hopefully, in time for his birthday next week!), and getting to know our new neighborhood! We have visited parks, met new friends, taken lots of nature walks and made weekly trips to our local library! The kids and I have been really enjoying lots of reading time as a result. I finished a few great books this month, and I have started a couple of new ones. Since a lot of my reading time has actually been kid-lit and picture books read aloud to my littles, I thought this month it would be appropriate to add a segment dedicated to some of our favorite children’s books we have read in the last several weeks. I won’t give much commentary on the kid’s selections, but I promise not to put anything on the list that I would not highly recommend reading with your own children!

What I’m currently reading…

Since I finished Little Women, I just had to get Little Men next! I found out about the deal on Audible to get the narration for $.99 after “buying” the free Kindle version and adding Whispersync. I have not gotten very far into the book yet, but I already can tell this is one I want my son to listen to when I am finished!

After waiting a couple of weeks, I finally got Gilead by Marilynne Robinson on hold from the library. This was the last book discussed on Close Reads, and I decided to wait to listen to the podcasts until I had finished the book. Now I get to read and listen at my own pace, which is such fun! I have heard that this book greatly loved by some and strongly disliked by others, so I am looking forward to coming to my own conclusions as I read.

I know I have mentioned reading Triggers before, so I won’t go into much right now. I had set the book aside for a while, but I joined a book club group on Facebook to read the book together, which gave me the little push I needed to pick it back up again. I have not been a good participant in the book club at all, but I have benefited from digging back in and examining my heart in regards to my parenting.

I had heard about The Explosive Child from some parents on a homeschooling forum, and I thought it would be an interesting book to peak into. I have a child who struggles with overcoming frustration and not being very flexible, although perhaps not to the extreme of the illustrations in this book. I hope to find a few nuggets of wisdom and practical strategies to help that child learn better coping skills. I will let you know what I think as I get further in!

What I have finished reading…

It took me several months, but I finally finished listening to Louisa May Alcott’s Little Women. I was so accustomed to listening to this book while I was cooking dinner or cleaning the kitchen that I almost felt lonesome when it was over! I loved every minute of this book. I only wish I would have read Little Women earlier in my parenting journey. So much of Marmie’s advice and the accounts of Meg and Jo’s struggles hit close to home for me. I am so glad I didn’t miss this book!

A few people I follow online recently posted about their progress through My Antonia, which was required reading for me in high school. I tried to remember something of the story, but all I could recall was that I didn’t really like this book. Since I could not recall why, and knowing it is a piece of literature that has stood the test of time, I decided to pick it up and see what I thought of it now. Boy, am I glad I did! This was quite possibly the most beautiful book I have read all year! When I finished the last sentence, I just had to put the book (um, my phone) down and soak it all in for a few minutes. Looking back, I can only guess my dislike for the book when I read it as a teen was due to my lack of life experience and perspective. But now, as a woman, wife, mother, friend and traveller, the narrative of My Antonia was breathtaking, poignant and full of truth about life, love and loss. I read this via the Libby app (meaning I borrowed it from my library system through Overdrive), but now I am planning to buy a hard copy to have and read again and again.

Murder on the Orient Express is the newest read on the Close Reads Podcast, and one of the other “close readers” found an audio version of the book read by David Suchet on archive.org. Since this book is in high demand now that a new film version is coming out soon, I decided to enjoy this free version. I binge-listened to it over the course of a few days, and it was perfectly delightful. I have always enjoyed a good Agatha Christie mystery, and Hercule Poirot did not disappoint!

I also finished Come With Me, and since I described it in the last Reading Report, I won’t go into detail here. But I did enjoy it to the end. I found one minor factual error in one of the last few chapters pertaining to Paul’s life…but overall, I enjoyed and benefited from this book as a supplement to my daily devotions. And now, Suzanne Eller has come out with an actual devotional study book to correspond! So, if you are needing something to rejuvenate your personal time with God, I would recommend both!

Kid Lit we’ve been loving…

The Voyage of the Dawn Treader: Just finished this one tonight, and my son was disappointed that it was over. (Always the sign of a great children’s novel!)
Rabbit Hill: I have read a bit of this one on my own just for fun, and my son has read the first chapter on his own. I think this will now be our bedtime read-aloud. It is all about a rabbit family, as well as their other animal neighbors, waiting for a new human family to move into the farm house and garden that has been neglected for a long time.
Mary Poppins and Mary Poppins Comes Back: We listened to Mary Poppins during our car rides over the period of a few weeks, ending with our camping trip in early October. It was a delightful listen on every level. The narrator was excellent and truly brought ever character to life. This one had me and the kids laughing every time! I was happy to find the sequel was also in our library system, so we get to listen to it next.

And that’s a wrap for this edition of the Reading Report! Next time, I hope to get this out a little earlier in the month. I am thinking since I may not have finished many more adult books by then, I will compile a list of some of our very favorite picture books. I was going to include them here, but this post was already getting quite long! Until later, happy reading!

In Faith Talk, Life as Mom, Uncategorized, Writing Life

Loosening My Grip, #Write31Days Day 7

Author Kiel LemonPosted on Leave a comment
  1. I never knew I had control issues until I became a parent. Up until that point, I had a pretty tight hold on my schedule and daily routines…when I slept and for how long, when I ate and what I did on the weekends. I was in control of the little details on my life, or so I thought. I planned out my days for smooth sailing, and other than little speed bumps in marriage or finances, things were pretty peaceful.

Enter those predictably unpredictable, dependent and demanding creatures better known as children…and not just any children, but infants! Infants who cried and begged to be fed or changed at the most inconvenient times… Infants who never slept at night but could fall asleep in the car five minutes from home, thereby rendering any attempts at getting them to nap again completely useless… Infants who could cry inconsolably about seemingly nothing, leaving me feeling completely helpless and, yes, out of control. No more nice, neat little weekend plans, no more quiet adult conversation over dinner, and certainly, no more sleeping 8 solid hours in a given night!

My 5 minutes are up, but I have so much more to say on this topic of control and parenting. So let’s just run with it….

You see, these little upsets in my daily routine were just the beginning. Now I have bigger kids who have more independence and responsibility, more room to make their own choices and their own mistakes. I can’t control their choices or their behavior any more than I could control whether or not they had a good night of sleep. Yes, I can guide them and teach them and give them consequences when they disobey or disrespect me. But I don’t control the outcome of these efforts. As much as I would like a neat little plan that says, “Do this and this and that, and your children will turn out to be model Christian citizens,” there is no such formula.

In fact, I am learning that the tighter I try to hold onto my expectations for the perfect day and try to control my children’s behavior, the more chaos and conflict ensue. Instead of trying to wrestle peace and joy into my days by tightening my grasp, I am finding that I must hold all things loosely and let God be the guide. I must release hold of my expectation and selfish desires so that He can fill my hands with His plans for me. And I must let go of the tight hold I want to keep on my children, handing them over to His care because He knows far better than I do how to mold and shape their hearts for His glory. It is a slow, difficult lesson for me, but I am beginning to learn to loosen my hold on control and let God give me what I really need—more of His grace.

This post is part of the annual 31 Days of Five Minute Free Writes Challenge, part of the Write 31 Days challenge with prompts from Five Minute Fridays. Find all my other challenge posts under the tag #Write31Days. 

In Faith Talk, Uncategorized

Faithful with the Small Things

Author Kiel LemonPosted on Leave a comment

 

Do you ever wonder if what you are doing really matters, if the mundane tasks of everyday motherhood and married life are really of any eternal consequence? I do. Sometimes I get to looking around at women who have big, visible ministries with nation, even international platforms. I see them making a big impact on the lives of thousands of women through speaking, writing, singing, teaching, etc. Then I look at the sink full of dishes and hear my toddler dumping a bin of legos in the other room while her brother yells at her to stop, and I think, “Is this it? Does this repetitive, monotonous work of child training and housework and homeschooling really make much of a difference at all in the world?”

A radical life for Christ is not always visible to outside eyes.  ~Sally Clarkson, Own Your Life

Yes, I have chosen this role as a wife and mother, and I do feel called to stay at home and teach my children full time, but there is still that nagging little voice that tells me that this is not enough, that I should be doing more, or doing better, at the very least. After all, I have a Bible college training and a degree. I could be teaching more than basic math facts and proper table manners. But then, there is another small voice that speaks to my hearts, this time gently and softly, and He says, “This is what I have for you to do right now. Do it well. Love these children. Teach them with humility and diligence. Love and support your husband, encouraging him daily. Be faithful in these seemingly small things, my child. They matter to me.”

His master said to him, “Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master.”  ~‭‭Matthew‬ ‭25:23‬ ‭ESV‬‬

I am reminded then that it is not about what the world sees, or what even the modern church sees, as successful ministry. It is about being obedient and faithful in what He gives me to do today, and every day. It is about being willing to do whatever He leads me to do, great or small. It is not about being seen or being recognized for what I do.

It’s not about the size of the serve. It’s the willingness to do what he asks.  ~Suzanne Eller, Come With Me

My role as a wife and mother is about being Jesus’ hands and feet to my family. My ministry is like that of Jesus washing the disciples’ feet. It is not glamorous or even well-respected in society. It is dirty and tiring and mundane. But I have the opportunity to show my children the love and grace of God in how I discipline and serve and teach them each day. And if these two precious little souls are the only two I ever can reach with the gospel of Christ, then so be it. I am following the Shepherd who went looking for the one that was lost and rejoiced greatly when it was found.

In God’s economy, the thousands are just as important as the few.
The few are just as important as the one.
The one is why He came.
Because He cares.
~Suzanne Eller, Come With Me

Maybe someday the Lord will add to my ministry and enlarge my circle of influence to extend beyond my family or even my local church. But for now I need to learn to be faithful in the small things, so that when He wants to give me bigger things, I will be strong and prepared to handle them well. I pray I will learn to be His obedient and gracious servant, to be a reflection of Christ in both the monotonous and the monumental tasks He sends my way.

For more information on authors mentioned in this post, see Sally Clarkson’s website, her book Own Your Life, or Suzanne Eller’s website and her book Come With Me. (Amazon links are affiliate links, so if you click through them and make a purchase, I will receive a small commision, at no extra expense to you. This helps support the blog, so thank you for your help!)

In Life as Mom, Life in General

We Are Family: Child Chore Training, Pt. 3

Author Kiel LemonPosted on Leave a comment

Welcome to the final installment (for now) in this series on Child Chore Training! Last week I gave specific examples of what this currently looks like in our home. Today I want to share how and why we pay our children for doing chores.

I guess we should start with why we chose to pay our son for his chores every week. First, we decided at age six he was ready to begin learning some basic money management skills. We want him to grow up with an understanding of how much things cost, how long it takes to earn enough money to actual buy something worthwhile, and how to save and give back to God some of his earnings. Also, even though he does chores because he is part of the family, we feel that paying him now gives him an idea of what it will be like to work for an employer some day. We told him early on that if he did not do his chores when asked each day, he would not get paid, just like an employee does not get paid when he or she fails to show up for work. So it is an additional motivational tool to get those chores done! Plus, our son is at that age in which kids start to want to buy things themselves, and his is into Legos in a big way. We have never been able or willing to buy toys just anytime throughout the year, saving those things for birthdays and Christmas. So now he knows that he can earn his own spending money and save it up for as long or short an amount of time as he wants before spending it on that new Lego set he has his eye on. But he already has learned that the longer he saves, the better!

As to how we pay him, we started out with a rate of $.05/year of his age, so he is currently paid $.30 every Saturday. We will increase his pay as his responsibilites increase, probably right around his next birthday. I have sometimes allowed him to earn an extra nickel in the week if he has been especially helpful with extra chores that were not on his list. Yes, this is a small amount, but we do not have a big budget as a family right now, and he really does not NEED much of his own money yet anyway. It is more about the lessons learned than the money earned!

Since part of our goal was teaching him how to manage his money, we divided up his earnings into three categories: spending, long-term savings, and offering. Because I did not want to be counting out strange amounts of pennies each week, rather than divide his $.30 into exact percentages, I simply put $.20 into his spending pouch and $.05 into both the savings and offering pouches each week. We found a set of 3 matching zippered pouches in the school supply section at Walmart last year, and they have been perfect for this purpose!

In case you are wondering, my son is not allowed to spend from his savings until much later in life. This is truly meant for long-term savings and can only be spent on something big, like a car or college. We will eventually open a savings acount for him for this purpose. The offering money is supposed to go with him to church every week. You might not believe it, but he gets a real thrill out of putting that nickel in the plate eery Sunday! I cannot totally take credit for how we do this whole payment for chores thing, since I originally heard about it from organizing guru, Mystie Winkler of  Simplified Organization. (That’s my affiliate link, by the way, because Mystie and her courses are AMAZING!)  In case you want to hear how she and her family does it, here is her Youtube video “Paying Children for Chores“, so can get more inspiration!

So, that’s it from me! Now I want to hear from you! Do you pay your kids for helping around the house? If not, do your kids get an allowance? I am curious to hear your repsonse!

In Life as Mom, Life in General

We Are Family: Child Chore Training, Pt. 2

Author Kiel LemonPosted on Leave a comment

Last week I shared a little about how we started with teaching our children to be contributing members of the household by doing some simple chores. I thought that this week I would give a few more specifics about how this is currently working in our home. My 6 year old son has a few different categories of jobs to do every weekday. Saturdays and Sundays are usually chore-free days, although he knows that we may ask for help with special projects on the weekends.

Each morning he has what we call his “Morning Routine.” These are things that are done before leaving the house or doing schoolwork. The Morning Routine includes making his own bed, getting dressed, eating breakfast (he never forgets that one, ha!), brushing his teeth, coming his hair, and practicing the piano. To help him remember all these tasks, I printed up a visual checklist and laminated it, then taped it to his bathroom mirror. We took it down when we put the house on the market, so now I just have to verbally check in with him to make sure he remembers everything, but it has become pretty habitual for him now. He rarely even leaves his room in the morning without getting dressed and making his bed! #Winning!

The chores that earn him money are divided into daily and weekly jobs. Daily jobs are simply to put away all his toys every evening, to tidy up his bookshelf before bed, and to make sure his dirty clothes get put into his hamper. He also is responsible for taking his dishes to the sink after every meal (we do not use a dishwasher, or else he would have to put them in there) and cleaning up any outside toys he played with when the weather is nice. Weekly chores are things that are different depending on the day or the week.

One day he gathers all the small trash cans from around the house and puts the trash into the big garbage can in the kitchen. He is teaching little sister to do this job, so in a year or so, he will not have this chore anymore because she will do it by herself! He also wipes down the mirror, sink and counter in his bathroom one day/week. He also is learning how to clean toilets, but I still have to supervise that one a lot. He is learning to vacuum the couches on vacuuming day. He can use the Swiffer to dustmop the kitchen and living room when needed. He helps me unload and put away groceries on shopping day. But the biggest job he has weekly is to do his own laundry, start to finish, including checking all his pockets (!) and putting everything away in his dresser when everything is clean and dry. This is probably his least favorite chore because it takes so long to be really finished. But it is probably the one that helps me out the most, so I LOVE it! 😉

Next week I will share how we are currently paying our son for his jobs and what he is learning about money through this experience, so stay tuned!

If you are looking for more ideas on chores your kids can do, depending on their age, Pinterest or Google are your friends! There are several chore lists divided up into appropriate tasks for children from toddlers to teens! Will your kids be learning new ways to help around the house this summer?