Day 10: How #write31days2018

There are so many “how” questions I could write on. I had trouble deciding which direction to go with this one. But in the spirit of the theme of community, I settled on exploring the question “How are you doing?”

These days we commonly ask “How are you?” as a greeting, not an actual question to which we expect an open and honest answer. But I think we also long to have someone look us in the eye and really care about the truth. How are you really doing, friend?

How is your health? How is your walk with the Lord? How are you doing with that new habit you are trying to form? How are you doing in your marriage? How are you doing as a parent?

These questions can bring up pain points in our lives, but we need the accountability of these questions in order to really be honest with ourselves and others, to really make a change. If I am afraid even to ask these questions of myself, I certainly wouldn’t want someone else to ask me.

But there is such great value in having a trusted friend who is not afraid of the truth of our messes and not shocked by our disfunction. I pray that I will find such a friend in time, and even more that I will become one for someone else.

This post is part of the 31 Days of Five Minute Free Writes and Write 31 Days blogging challenges. Find all my posts in this series under the tag “write31days2018.”

P.S.- If you came looking for this week’s Wellness Wednesday link-up, I should tell you that this month I am taking a break from hosting in lieu of the Write 31 Days challenge. The link-up will start back up in November with fresh content, so please check back then!

Day 6: Belong #write31days2018

Ever since I was a little girl, I have struggled with finding where I belong. It’s not that I didn’t have a loving family or good friends. But I have always felt like I was a little different and didn’t quite belong to my peer group. Even as an adult l struggle to find a place where I feel like I am really more than just a curious outsider that the “in crowd” tolerates having around. 

The difference is that now I know that I am not alone in feeling this way. Especially in this age of online comparison in which people see carefully curated images of others’ lives, I know that many moms like myself feel like they are missing in-person community to which they can really belong and be truly themselves.

So this month I finally decided to do something that is way out of my comfort zone. I am starting a little book study group of homeschooling mom to study through some of Charlotte Mason’s 20 Principles together.

I am hoping that this group will become more than just a book club, that it will become a little tribe of likeminded women who belong together, who support each other and lift each other up when we fall. I want this to be a welcome place for other moms to be honest with each other and to encourage one another, because we all need to belong somewhere.

This post is part of the 31 Days of Five Minute Free Writes and Write 31 Days blogging challenges. Find all my posts in this series under the tag “write31days2018.”

Day 2: Afraid #write31days2018

Maybe it sounds strange to some, but when I think of trying to build community locally, I am afraid about a lot of things. I am afraid I won’t know what to say when I first meet someone (which is actually true…I’m notoriously horrible at making small talk and asking questions!) I am afraid people won’t like me once they really get to know me. I am afraid I won’t be able to keep up the energy required to sustain friendship. I am afraid our kids or our husbands won’t like each other. I’m afraid I will be judged for the choices I have made.

You get the idea…

Even though I have these fears, I can’t let them stop me from trying. In this age of digital everything where even “friendship” takes place in a virtual online reality, I must take the steps to try and forge real life community. I need flesh and blood friends, women who will sit with me over a cup of steaming hot tea and look into my eyes and ask me how I’m really doing. And I want to be able to do the same for them. We need each other. We were meant for real, messy, human relationships. 

Am I still afraid? Yes, but I have to take that next step and reach out. Because I know I’m not the only one who has these fears. And I know that in the end, it will be worth it.

This post is part of the 31 Days of Five Minute Free Writes and Write 31 Days blogging challenges. Find all my posts in this series under the tag “write31days2018.”